This is an emotional-heart-wrenching post, so please don’t read if you are happy and content with your love life

When Gen leaves for the 4x4 Challenge on Thursday, and I have to send Adam to school, Hannah and Nadia to Nanny, and there was a massive traffic congestion of 3 km because a trailer had hit the divider. So a two lane road is blocked and we have to wait for them to move the trailer to bypass the accident site.

On Friday Adam refused to take a bath and go to school and I’m running late and a bit temper-ish.

Plus, I’m working on Saturday. Crap.

And truth be told I miss you

And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face

Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way

Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell

Gen was back Sunday night as he promised. And I was trying hard not to tell him I miss him. I miss having him around to prepare milk for Nadia and Adam in the middle of the night. Huhu…

He looks at me, maybe to assess the seriousness of my cold shoulder treatment.

Can’t read my, can’t read my
No he can’t read my poker face
She got to love nobody
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No he can’t read my poker face
She got to love nobody

I won’t tell you that I love you
Kiss you or hug you

On Monday, I don’t know why I lunch with my ex-bosses, ARA and ZMT. I have been avoiding their calls politely but I’m deeply distraught and thus cannot make a right decision. We are deep in conversation, well, they are expanding, which is good and I almost nod in agreement when they offered me to work there again. What-the? I should have seen in coming. I wish I’m not in ECM having lunch with them.

Oh, won't you walk through?

And bust in the door and take me away?

Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you

(Thinking of you, thinking of you)

Thinking of you, what you would do

On Tuesday (todaylah) 12.32 a.m. my phone sings Gen’s ringtone...

Dan telah ku nyanyikan kau lagu cinta
Seindahnya sinar mentari
Seanggunnya sinar rembulan

Dan telah ku nyanyikan kau lagu rindu
Kerna hati ini masih lagi lemas dalam kerinduan

Gen called. I purposely pick up after his second call. There are just so many things I want to tell him. I’m upset, he’s selfish, I’m not his air, why bother calling?

But, we went out for lunch instead.

Remember those walls I build
Well baby, they’re tumbling down
And they didn’t even put up a fight
They even didn’t make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt

*sigh*

Get to know your enemy

I have been tagging him ‘BJ setan’. But actually, that nickname was given by Gen, not me. I think it is because it is haunting Gen. Gen cannot say no to him. If he sick (he’s old) or needed money, Gen will always put his need first. Gen has to look at him everyday and every time, Gen’s hand will itch to touch him (LOL now BJ starts to sound like a man-biatch!). I think it is a ‘he’ because it is tough, for outdoor plus the fact that I prefer Gen to have a male companion rather than a female.

So today, I wiki-ed about him. I found out that his real name is Toyota Land Cruiser and BJ is the manufactured name to distinguish its spare parts. His other sibling is FJ. Actually I am quite impressed with his establishment because he was the first Japan product of his kind to cater the need of such vehicle because the Americans have manufactured Jeep. But he’s one real tough guy. Served the army, the police patrol and his first assignment is to climb Mount Fiji and he passed with flying colours.

BJ is one tough old guy, as he was manufactured circa 1950-1980s, so that make him as old as 60 years old! Gosh, I cannot understand why Gen loves him so much? Gen practically salivating over BJ when he first saw him at a friend’s garage.

This is the picture of him that I wiki-ed.

And this is him in real life. Same old old guy!

We can now see his younger brother on the roads nowadays Lexus LX (2007) (drool!) or Tahara and Aichi (both 2008). But I don’t know what they call it the Malaysian market. So he had managed to evolve from a station wagon/pick-up truck into a sassy SUV. Actually I won’t mind his younger brother. I will definitely love it too (much) and I will give it an appropriate nick, Lex maybe?

Lex, a total hunk on the road!

So, Gen will be spending 9-12 April with him in Sungai Lembing, Kuantan. I hope BJ can also cook for him, wash iron his clothes and do all other things for him afterwards because I’m contemplating the Ultimate Cold Shoulder Treatment: Part 2 starting from 12th April onward. Wish me luck!

Hah!

My Blonde Moment

My car broke down after driving about 3 km from home this morning. The car suddenly slows down even after I keep on slamming on the gas pedal. Immediately before the u-turn, I signaled left (other drivers start honking, so I put on the emergency light) and stop at the roadside. Immediately after I slam on the brake pedal, the engine went dead. I tried to re-start the car but to no avail.

I am surprised that I’m really calm the whole time and called Gen. Actually I was wondering whether I should call him or not because I have been giving him cold shoulder treatment since Sunday because he told me that he’s leaving us for four days 9-12 April, 2009 to be exact because he’s a marshal for the Pahang 4x4 Tournament in Sungai Lembing. I promise to update on that later.

After 2 minutes thinking, I decide to call him thinking that I might as well burden him with my car problem. So, I told him the car wouldn’t start and inform him my location. Then I called Adam’s teacher because Adam will be late. Adam was also calm maybe because I act normal. Obviously he had heard my conversation with Gen and Teacher Nurul.

Adam: Kenapa Mama? Kereta rosak? (Pelat)
Mama: Iya lah, rosak pulak. Kita ni dalam kesusahan.
Adam: Mama telefon Wonderpet tak?

(Then we start singing, telefon, telefon berbunyi… Mama dan Adam dalam kesusahan… LOL.)

It took Gen half an hour to arrive at the crime scene and he immediately tried to start the car. Still cannot start. He opened the bonnet (is it called bonnet? Sorry, smaller scale blonde moment) look here and there still cannot start. Then he gets in the car and try to start it again and suddenly he asked, ‘ni ada minyak tak ni?’. Gas? OMY! Totally a blonde moment for me, I forgot to fill in the gas. I remember it had been blinking red since… OMY OMG… last Wednesday! Gen brought his friend along to check on the car and the friend cannot hide his amusement and start laughing out loud.

I was too busy contemplating the cold shoulder treatment to Gen that I forgot to fill in the gas. You see, I have to plan to come home at certain time, make sure I’m in the toilet showering every time he’s back from work, not cooking (just porridge for Nadia and Hannah and nuggets for Adam), let the house in mess (he cleaned up the house on Monday) plus practice a perfect frown when he asks question and the list is so long.

My mind is preoccupied!

Lazy Saturday

I cannot open my eyes this morning. Saturday should be a holiday. Instead I have to go to work. My boss has declared working Saturdays when I was on maternity leave. Hmmmm. Been FB-ing since morning. Then YM with Laila, I haven’t chat with her for so long, now. Already 12.00, one more hour, maybe I should pack my bag now.

An excerpt of this morning conversationbetween Adam and Gen:-

Gen: Babah kena gi kerja hari ni.
Adam: Babah tak oleh gi keje…
Gen: Naper pulak?
Adam: Nanti Babah tak balik dah.Haa. Adam, Adam nak tido ngan sape nih?

Actually Adam was referring to last weekends (Wesak holidays) when Gen told him that he went to work. But, instead Gen went masuk hutan lagi for his 4×4 Challenge Endau-Rompin for two days. Consequently, Adam has to sleep on his own because I have Hannah and Nadia at my sides. So many things inside his young mind.

An excerpt of last night conversation between Adam and Gen while they were watching Spiderman 2 on AXN:-

Adam: Babah, Adam nak susu.
Gen: Eh, Otromen mana hisap susu.
Adam: Adam bukan Otromen. Adam nak jadi Adam jek.
Gen: Power Rangers dengan Cicak-man pun tak hisap susu.
Adam: Ayu Inges adak mulut (Power Rangers tak ada mulut). Haaaa (that’s why they don’t drink bottled milk)

Rasa cam nak bakar jip Gen so that dia tak boleh masuk hutan lagi

Actually one thing that I love about Gen is that he’s an outdoor person whereas I am not. So, we kind of complement each other. I also don’t like the idea that all my children growing up a geek like me. Yes, I confess to it. I am a geek when I grow up. I hate sports, co-curricular activities and sometimes I hide inside the closet during riadah hours.

But lately his hobby has gotten into my nerve and I cannot stand it anymore. Last week we had a big serious word-fight about his 4×4 mania. It was the worst and I really hate it. I have been supportive of his hobby ever since I can remember and I thought it is okay compared to golfing, fishing, karaoke-ing, clubbing (god forbid) clubbing,drinking or what not…, etcetera etcetera.

It has taken too much of his time, and of course, our money as well. He bought a jeep cash but still cannot register it under his name. He had upgraded the jeep, rebuilding it from scratch,spending more money than what we can really afford. He’ll spend all his free time at the workshop until they actually closed for the day and kick him out of the premise (okay, I was exaggerating). Whatever money that he had will be pumped into his new project. In short he went crazy for this jeep.

I thought once the project is completed, he’ll be one sane person again. But actually it gets worst. He’ll being some remote area over the weekends to test his jeep’s ability. He even spends few days with his precious jeep in Terengganu when I was in confinement. And I cannot contact him as it was out of coverage. Now he’s attending night classes to obtain a certificate to operate wireless radio and he’s having an exam next month. I let Adam and Hannah played with his notes and stupid books. But being as determined as Gen, he just bought a new set of notes and books. He also bought cds on how to operate the four wheel drive on different courses!

It was even worst than having another woman, because I will know how to handle that other woman. I cannot handle that jeep and I have been contemplating torching it with fire and watch it burn in satisfaction. But it was easier said than done. Besides I have to think on how to do it, do I have to purchase a gasoline? But then I have to purchase a carrier first. Where to purchase a gasoline? Gas station? Even if I somehow manage to buy the gasoline, where should I torch his jeep? Not at the house, it may explode. But I cannot drive the jeep, it had manual gears. Even if I manage to go somewhere remote and torch it, how do I come back? I cannot call Gen and ask him to fetch me, kan?

Hah, or maybe I’ll pay someone to torch or bomb the jeep. (Smiling devilishly).