al-Fatihah

Yesterday, Mom’s uncle passed away. Al-fatihah to him. Mom was really attached to him. She always told us stories of how To’ki and Tok Mesah took care of her when she stayed with their family because she was schooling (and later work) in Kuantan while my grandparents lived in Pekan. To’ki always treated her equally as he treated his own child, her cousins. Mom also taught us to respect him as our own grandfather.

Actually I am closer to To’ki and Tok Mesah after I married Gen. To‘ki was our jurunikah and Gen dealt with him with regards to our marriage papers. Gen was at ease with them and he was able to make To’ki laugh at his jokes though I still have no idea how he does it. I believed To’ki was fond of Gen because he was acquainted with Gen’s ancestors, particularly a man called Awang Gagah. Gen was very polite everytime To’ki talked about Awang Gagah and his strength over and over again every time we visit him.

Sunday morning, as early as 5 a.m., one of To’ki’s sons called and informed us that To’ki was very ill. I picked up the call (my room is the nearest to the telephone and I don’t want Adam and Hannah to wake up) and I can see Mom’s face is very sad and concerned. Dad sends her there immediately.

At 1 p.m Along called and informed that To’ki already passed away. Dad went there immediately but as Gen is not around, he asked me to wait for him before we go there and pay To’ki our last respect.

Dad brings Mom home at 2 p.m. and she looked so sad. Dad said when he picks her; Mom has been sitting at the same spot where he left her in the morning, reciting Yaasin and Al-Quran for To’ki. Without alarm, my tears fall. She walks slowly and I believe it must be painful for her legs and backside to sit like that in such a long period.

We were at the funeral after Asar. While Gen performed the solat jenazah, I went inside to see Tok Mesah. She was upstairs and she was looking frantically for the keys to her drawers where she put the kain alas for the jenazah. She appeared very strong but as she couldn’t find the keys or the bag where she put the keys, she crumbled. I search for the keys and the bag inside Cha’s room but I couldn’t find any. She ends up sitting in the middle of the room oblivious to her surroundings.

In the hallway, Mak Ndak Jami cried tearfully as she muttered that To’ki was a decent man who took care of the orphans and yet we don’t even have a decent kain alas for his jenazah. Everybody starts to cry. Mom hug Tok Mesah, telling her that everything will be alright and that she have a set of the kain alas at home, I offered to collect the kain alas. It was the least that I can do.

Later on, after I fetch the kain alas, I sat near Tok Mesah in her room down stairs, where she has regained her composure. Ayu sat nearby when Tok Mesah said brokenly. “Dia dah tak ada. Dia dah pergi. Kita ni yang kena tinggal. Kita ni yang rasa sakit pedihnya kena tinggal”

For me, that is to love until death do us part; but then for Hajah Khamesah Binti Mohd Aroff this is love until her died.

Al-fatihah to Haji Husain Bin Aris.