Not With Me

I will always remember the day. 19.05.07. The day that I lost Adam. I lost him at Giant and that is the scariest thing that ever happens to me. It’s a third Saturday of the month, a non-working Saturday.

I went shopping with Adam, Hannah and Bibik Zah. Gen has to work on Saturday morning. Actually I’m upset with Gen because we have planned to go to the beach but he got this urgent call from my MIL and he have to go to work. Hannah falls asleep while shopping so after shopping; I asked Bibik Zah to pack up our groceries into the car and gave her the car keys. I took Hannah’s stroller to the food court and sat there. Hannah can actually sleep even in such a noisy surrounding.

Few minutes later when Bibik Zah came back alone I asked her, “Adam mana?” When she replied that Adam did not follow her to the car then my heart raced like mad. What? Where’s Adam?? Its lunch hour and Giant is packed with people. I feel like screaming at her but I know that I should be screaming to myself. I lost Adam, not her. I should not let my eyes off him! Leaving Hannah with Bibik Zah, I traced my step back to the Giant entrance, to the car park and even the child’s playcorner near the food court. None! I cannot think clearly now. What should I do? What should I do? I have no idea. I stand static in front of the Giant entrance and I see people around me. I got panic attack. I feel like crying. OMG! What have I done? What if I don’t get to see Adam ever again? What if they shave his head and make him a beggar? Or worst they chopped off his legs so that he can't run away and to make people pity him and give him more money!!?

I went to the guard and my voice broke down as I say “Makcik, anak saya hilang!” She looked at me expectedly and said “Budak lelaki yang pakai baju jalur biru?” I nodded; yes Adam was wearing Argentina’s jersey. “Saya dah hantar kat customer service, kejap lagi diorang paging kot” she point at the customer service counter at the far end of Giant.

I went to the customer service and as I peeked over the counter I pray so hard that Adam was inside. I don’t know what to do if another boy sat there instead of Adam. And there he was. He sat on a stool. He was looking at his feet that don’t even touch the floor. He looked sad. I felt so relieved. “Adam” I called him and he looked at me. He ran to me and I hug him fiercely. I’m so thankful that I can hug him again. That I can kiss his stinking perspiring head. “Mama” he called me. As I start lecturing him, Adam sniffed and cried. He may not able to reply to me but I know he understood every word that I say.