Abah

I think I always talked about Mak in my blog. The main reason is we always talked. Even when I’m away, I’ll call and talk to her. Truthfully, I did not spend that much quality time with Abah. He’s a very conservative guy, and he doesn’t want to listen to the story of my life. Lately, I noticed that he looked so much older. I have taken some time to notice certain things about Abah that I don’t think others know.

1. Abah use fork and spoon while dining. Actually, Abah cannot feel his fingers sometimes. If he eats using his fingers, the rice will fall down uncontrollably as he looses his grip. I can see that this frustrates him so much.
2. Abah always use the same fork and spoon. Small light spoon with longer handle and a small fork. I think it is easier for him to maneuver the spoon.
3. Abah eat a small portion of meal every time. I remember my sister in law thought that Abah didn’t like her cooking. The truth is that he’s diabetic, though he’s not on insulin or anything, he’s being cautious. Around him, I get to understand that it’s not about others; it’s just the way he is.
4. Abah is a cautious driver. Gen said he had never met a person that measure parking his car (at home) using car lights like Abah. When Abah parks his car, he will switch on his highlights and stops when it reached certain point. He does this perfectly and the car will end up exactly one inch from the front door grill. The sad thing is, I think his vision and his grip is not as good as before because he keeps on slamming on the front grill, now so often.
5. Abah is a man of few words. Now, he prefers to keep quiet than talking. My brothers and sisters thought that he’s annoyed or simply ignored them. Actually, he cannot hear very well, you have to speak up in order for him to hear you. Another thing is that he had looses most of his teeth. So his words are sometimes slurred, inaudible and if he talks too much, he might emit saliva while talking. He hates all this.
6. I tried to talk to him as much as I talked to Mak, my avid listener. Sometimes I succeeded but most of the time I failed. I talked to him about his health, his check-ups, medical appointment, and his coming eye operation. Most of the time during our conversation, I noticed that he get distracted easily. Distracted as in drifting away. I’m not sure what causes this. I still tried now and then.

The good thing about Mak is that she can talks, nags even when Abah did not pays her any attention. I just hope that Long, Angah, Kak Miah and Ateh see Abah the way I see him, the reasons for his being. He may shut himself inside his room when we come home and our children wreck the house, but if we didn’t come home, he will ask Mak, ‘Mana orang ni semua, lama dah tak balik?’